“May Your Tears Fade With The Rain”
Author
Keyza Aulia / Kelas XI-10
Even amidst the rain, the hustle and bustle of Bogor never seemed to stop. This city was titled “The Rain City” due to its heavy rainfalls. It rains so often all year long you that won’t miss the sound of water hitting the ground. But even the sound of thunder, and the cold breezes of air can’t fade Yohan’s sadness. The sky seemed to cry together with him.
THe joy and festivities feeling of the upcoming year can be felt everywhere, everyone in the school seemed excited to go home and celebrate the new years eve. Except for Yohan, who has been staring at the window for hours by now.
“Han?”
“Yohan”
“Yohaan!” Someone was shouting his name.
“Pardon me, what were you saying Raka?” Yohan finally turned his face to Raka.
“Quit staring at the rain and finish your assignment!”
“Sorry, i’ve been zoning out often lately”
“Was something bothering you? The rain?” Raka asked curiously
“No, i’m just… Nevermind”
“Well whatever that is, please finish your assignment quickly so we can go home faster”
Raka quickly goes back to his seat and finishes his assignment. Yohan wanted to say that the rain is in fact bothering him but he doesn’t feel like explaining further. Sharing his grief with someone won’t change anything, the thought to himself.
Not long after the school’s bell rings indicating the school is over. “Ding ding ding” the sound of bells echoes in the hallway. A while later, Yohan finally finished his assignment and were the last one to finish. However, Raka was there accompanying him.
They both arrived at the school’s front gate, It seems like everyone else has already went home. It’s new year’s eve after all. Yohan curses himself for zoning out earlier because now he and Raka have to wait until the rain settles.
“You can go home first, Raka’”
“How about you?”
“I will be fine, It’s getting late and your mom must be worried’”
“I can’t just leave you alone here.”
“I really don’t mind, now go call your dad to pick you up’”
“If you say so.” Raka seems to hesitate but did it anyway
Raka’s Dad then arrive with a motorbike, covered in a mantle to shield from the rain. But unfortunately the motorbike could only fit two people.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Raka’s dad asked with a worried tone.
“Quite sure, please don’t worry about me sir.” Yohan said with a smile
After Raka left the rain wasn’t getting any better, worse even. Yohan decided to just walk out in the rain after getting many stares from the security. He doesn’t bring an umbrella with him because he never remembered to. And mainly because he used to walk with someone that would share an umbrella with him everyday when it rains. But that person is no longer here with him. His body turns cold from the memories but he continues to walk.
The walk itself wasn’t long, only about a hundred meters away. Yohan walks in a slow pace, feeling the rain drenching his hair and clothes. His curly and fluffy hair now gloomy after being hit with the rain. Yohan remembers he doesn’t have school tomorrow anyway.
The streets were busy, many street vendors were selling foods, toys and fireworks to celebrate the new year’s eve. Yohan merely glances at them uninterested. If anything, it made his heart ache. Exactly a year ago, he would enjoy the street foods, laughing how terrible they tasted or be overjoyed if they tasted good. Maybe he would be amazed by the fireworks, and combine wo fireworks into one massive explosion. He would enjoy all of this if Nyra was here with him. But, she wasn’t. Yohan runs as fast as he could before more grief filled his lungs. He cant breathe.
Nyra, oh the best friend Yohan will ever have. The one that brought him the most joy in life but also the most hurt and sorrow. She took her own life exactly a year ago, on New year’s eve. Because life was too mean to her. She had reached her limit. Behind the smile she puts in front of Yohan, she has her own struggles. She’s fighting a war that’s invisible to everyone but herself.
A war with depression and that she lost.
Upon arriving at his house, his sister greets him almost immediately.
“Oh look whos there, i was just about to pick you up”
“No need” Yohan answers blankly
“Gooood, you are drenched! Go shower quickly and I will prepare dinner.”
“Alright, I assume you just got back from work?”
“Yes, and i’m going out later with friends. Mom and dad are still out of town.”
“Thank you sis, and have fun.” Yohan walked upstairs to his room. He then showers and ate dinner with his sister. Just the both of them but he feels comfortable. After washing the dishes Yohan looked at his sister handing him an envelope
“Yohan, a year ago someone told me to hand this to you this new year’s eve.”
“Uh… alright.” Yohan accepts the envelope without a second thought.
“Alright then im off to go, see ya!” his sister quickly opens the door and left.
Yohan lies on his bed staring at the window, its still raining quite heavy outside. Nothing but silence amidst the rain fills his room. Even in midnight the sound of busy roads still could be heard. Even in the loudest sound, Yohan feels silence and emptiness. Curse the new year, curse everyone else celebrating it. The feeling of guilt and anger rises in him. He could have spent the new year like everyone else. At that moment he could have stopped Nyra taking her life with her own hands. She would be here with him, Yohan failed her. Nyra… i am so sorry.
His Phone lit up from a message and many more to come
“Happy new year haaan!” from Raka
“Have a blessed new year” from his other friend
“May the new year brings peace with us, dear Yohan” from his mom
And many more messages, Yohan could only wish a certain someone would say this to him. Feeling empty, he closes his phone and looks over to his desk. He took a deep breath, his panic attacks crawling up on him. He needs to calm down his tears. Even the rain gets heavier.
Under the moonlight glow points a beautifully wrapped envelope his sister gave him before she went out. With tears in his eyes Yohan cant see clearly the name written on it but upon a glance it could be seen ” from Nyra. “ Yohan quickly grabbed the envelopein disbelief. Nyra? There is no way. Yohan opens up the envelope with shaky hands, unraveling a letter inside.
“Dear Yohan, from Nyra.”
First of, happy new year! Yohan. I hope you’re doing well. When you’re reading this, that means
i’m no longer here, but that’s Ane. Please don’t cry for me, silly! I want you to be happy.
I hope you have already moved on. Don’t let the memories we share hold you back to celebrate this new year. There are many things I want to say to you and in the end, never get to say to you. But most importantly, Im Sorry. Im Sorry. I’m truly Sorry. for leaving you alone. But life was too hard on me. and I can’t take it anymore. Thank you for being with me all these years. Never ever blame yourself. and happy new year. Again. If you’re happy that means I am too!
Yohan stood there for a moment, in disbelief. Rather than sad, Yohan felt reassured. The letter gave him comfort he seeks all these time. He smiles on the letter while mumbling to himself
“If that’s what you want, then I will stop crying, Nyra”
As if the sky agrees with him, the rain outside stops.
Days after days, Yohan can be seen getting better emotionally, he smiles more often and rarely zones out again like usual. It seemed like he had finally found peace with himself.
As the rainy season passed and summer came by. Yohan had accepted that He has to move on. The bright sun of summer lightens his day. Just as before and the rain barely comes by. Just like Vohan’s sadness. His tears had faded away with the rain.